The cold ice queen that is the City of London

I often refer to London as a cold, harsh woman... it may seem strange to personify such a large thing as a city but I believe she really does have incredible power.

I found myself a proud resident of this capital city at incredibly short notice...

Anyway, I resented the move here for quite some time... Had been segregated from my friends, my partner and my family. I found myself akin to a lion cub, I thought I was so big and strong but yet had to literally 'go it alone' and survive.

Anyway, a lot of time has passed now and after an especially good weekend this weekend of just experiencing the delight of wandering around Hyde Park I have come to see my quasi home in a very different light.

Sitting in the Serpentine Cafe enjoying a nice cup of tea with my feet on my special somebody's lap whilst reading snippets of James and The Giant Peach (my all time favourite book) I got to thinking about London and life... - had hated london for over 18 months and that one day of altered perspective has made me rethink that....

Why do we always forget the small things in life are the things that have such profound effect on us? I know now that one cup of tea with my feet up was a better feeling that I have had since December 31st 2008 (a whole other story) and I have London to thank for that...

I no longer think that London is a cruel Ice Queen I just think that, like most of her residents, she is grossly misunderstood....
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Patsy wants, Patsy gets... But will Patsy really ever 'have'....?

I'm standing on the Northern Line on my way to the office thinking about a conversation that I was having with my dear friend last night...

I'd received a text message, 'here's a topic for the next blog - rules of attraction, am I attracted to skinny 18 year olds because I want to be one and are you attracted to asians because you wanna be one'. now this is not the first time this topic has arisen but I had a little bit of an epiphany and decided to call my old chum for a little chat about this one!

"Pats, I don't wanna be one of them at all!". I immediately stated, with not even so much as a hello.
"Yeah you do Pats and you know it".
"No, seriously, I really really don't", I come back whilst walking down Stockwell High Street wearing T shirt and Flip Flops looking like Malibu Barbie in deep, dark South London, "I'm seeing where you're going with that thinking but I don't think you're right".

I don't normally like to get tied down to the 'type' conversation. I don't really believe that we have types at all. I will, however, admit that before I got with my other half (of just under 3 years now) a pattern was developing.

"Pats, you like them tight, blonde 18 year olds, for exactly the same reason I like the asians".
"What's that then Pats?" I could hear him pottering about in his restaurant up in Liverpool as I'm trotting about South London.
"We like them because deep down we know we'll never really have them, you know that 18 year olds will do exactly what it is you'd expect them to do and my asians, well, they have a shelf life before they get married, or then it will come to planning the next step for the relationship and the fact is there probably won't be one".
"Ahhh,". Came the response from the other end of the phone, "I'm with you on that one, we're like committed committment-phobes".

So this got me to thinking about 'types'. I've been out with White British, African American, British Asian and Pakistani people. Out of all of them the only one relationship that I ended was the White British - Every single other relationship ended because of some external circumstance...

In a life where we are so used to getting what we want because we work so hard to get it, is this one thing that me and my like minded, career driven best friend will never really have... Are our relationships just another challenge for us to succeed or are we just pathologically scared?

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What's in a faith?

Okay, so I understand that maybe I'm a little bit of a strange one... There's a certain somebody in my life that calls me a "Hindu wannabe". I fell into the Hindu faith mainly for three reasons... Partially because of the afore mentioned 'certain someone', the beauty and elegance of the faith and finally because of the intense belief that the life I had been leading would come back to me... If one thing has been proven to me over time, it is that whatever energy you put out there you will definitely get back at some point!.

Now, what I do with my beliefs I do alone, in private and without ceremony... Aside from certain idols in my house and at my office one would almost certainly not be aware...

I have spend a lot of time in the last two weeks, with some Muslim friends, I have broken fasts, seen salaat and intense devotion overall and this has set me to thinking about families... Those we are born into and those that we choose and of course, not forgetting those that choose us.

Our life relationships are almost like a patch work quilt, a myriad of complex and sometimes disparate blocks... Some stitching may be rough and perfunctory, there holding the first blocks together as a means to getting the quilt started and other stitching may be smooth and neat, and getting neater with each addition as the mistakes made on the previous patch are learned from.

With this in mind... How possible is it to 'remove' a patch... No matter what happens before and after each event in our life we can't deny that event in our lives, and I don't believe we should even attempt to.

It has been said that the flaws in two things joined together makes the sum of its parts stronger... Is this the same within our lives as well as within ourselves?
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